A Field Guide To Couch Sex.

A Field Guide To Couch Sex.

Aug 05, 2020
Eliza Dumais

The essential dos and don’ts of sofa sexcapades.

Alongside car sex, shower sex, and, well, bed sex, it’s likely you’ve got one more staple locale for doing the deed: the couch. The logical centerpoint of any standard home, Americans tend to spend nearly 1,000 hours a year seated on their couches. So it follows that, at some point within that obscene stretch, you and a partner have found yourselves engaged in some steamy sofa play. 

That said couch-based intercourse can be plenty touch and go (quite literally so). There’s limited real estate available — which makes for a whole lot of flailing limbs. There’s the distinct possibility that you’ll bang an arm into a nearby chair or topple a pile of coffee table books, shifting positions requires masterful agility, and the likelihood of a roommate or family member popping in unannounced is far higher than in the bedroom. 

Nevertheless, couch-boning can be wildly fun. Throwing a little versatility into your sexcapades is never a bad thing, and the whole right here-right now bit that often comes with not quite making it to the bedroom is undeniably steamy. So, with regard to your next bout of couch intercourse, keep the following in mind for maximum pleasure: 

Mind your materials
Depending on what your couch is actually made of, you’ll wanna take care. No matter how steamy the sex, rubbing up against raw wool will almost certainly leave half your body with itchy, rashy soars. If you know your couch doesn’t do well with friction—or the material is precious enough to protect from...bodily fluids…—be sure to keep a number of soft throw blankets on hand to line your sofa with pre intercourse. 

Use all parts of the couch to your advantage
Instead of quickly tossing all your throw pillows to the ground, consider making good use of everything the couch has to offer. Prop yourself up on the pillows for any form of oral, be sure to use your sofa’s arms for new angles of approach, or try hoisting yourself up on the back for some better leverage. Be creative: for the time being, this is your adult jungle gym. Treat it as such. 

Be wary of guests
Whether you’ve got roommates, kids in the house, a cleaning lady who occasionally pops by, or just a set sidewalk facing windows, remember that you are likely in the center of your home. There’s limited privacy, so to speak. Do with that information what you will. 

Use the lack of space to your advantage
Ok so, it’s a tad hard to maneuver whilst on a couch, but being that you have ample other opportunities to have sex in more spacious locales, try to use your limited environs for, well, pleasure. We have it on good authority that the couch makes for prime 69ing space (you can fit if you’re stacked!), but it’s well worth trying any number of new seated, cross-legged positions here as well. Who knows, maybe you’ll even take one of ‘em back to the bedroom. 

Don’t rule out the floor
Ok so yes you’re having sex on the couch, but know that you can, in fact, still use the floor to your advantage. Try keeping one foot on the floor and propping the other on the couch for a new penetrative angle, think about the ways you can stagger yourself for better oral, or even try lifting your partner (think: like a wheelbarrow). 

A Field Guide To Couch Sex.

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